


Let Me Fall

by suyari



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Circus, Canonical Character Death, Catharsis, Families of Choice, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Incest, M/M, Non Canonical Drifting, Polyamory, Reckless Endangerment, Sibling Incest, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8998237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suyari/pseuds/suyari
Summary: “People are generally in two camps when it comes to them. They have a death wish. They’re too damn cocky.” “Which one’s true?” Or the Circus AU absolutely no one asked for. ***Pacific Rim Secret Santa 2016***





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SublimeDiscordance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SublimeDiscordance/gifts).



> To my Betas, a heartfelt Thank You for going through all this with me and helping me find a new path when I had to start over. 
> 
> To my Recipient, it's not as bad as the tags suggest, I swear! I just like to be thorough so people are forewarned as some of these events may be triggering or not in the spirit of the season. I hope you enjoy it!

It had been at least ten years since Stacker Pentecost had shown up at their door. The first time, he’d all but begged them not to go - though he’d understood their need. Now, he was all but begging them to return. They’d been through a great deal together over the years, but Scott had not seen the man so shaken in decades. 

Seated at their kitchen table, a cup of tea cooling before him, Stacker heaved a sigh and raked a hand through his hair. “I know you aren’t ready,” he said, meeting first Herc’s eyes and then Scott’s own. “But I **need** you back. There’s a situation I’m frankly at a loss to correct. I’m going to need help. _**Your**_ help.”

Their eyes met across the kitchen, unsure of what Stacker could possibly need their help _for_. The man was a fixed point in the lives of everyone who’d ever performed under him. If there was something _he_ needed assistance with, they didn’t know how much _they_ could do to help. But, Stacker was an old and dear friend and they were more than willing to try. 

Stacker nodded as if he could read their decision from their pause alone. 

“Do you remember the Beckets?” 

Scott huffed a laugh. “How could we not? They were our biggest threat.” 

“And damn good people,” Herc added with a nod, arms folded across his chest as he leaned back into the counter. 

Stacker nodded in agreement, hands folding about his cup. “I don’t know if you’d heard…” 

Scott cocked an eyebrow, Herc straightening a bit across from him. 

“Dominique passed. Cancer.” 

The brothers closed their eyes at the same time. 

“It was an ugly battle,” Stacker continued. “In the end…” He tapped his cup against the table, which brought both pairs of eyes back to him. “Richard couldn’t handle it. He...wasn’t as strong as you.” He nodded once at them, his own eyes closing for a moment in acknowledgement, before sighing heavily once more. “I’m sorry to say we didn’t notice until it had gotten far from out of hand.”

Unbidden, the faces of the Becket children popped up from his memories. The Beckets were the type of people Scott had always admired. Devoted to one another and their kids. The love they shared and the pride in their family had surpassed everything else. Even performing, when it came in conflict. He couldn’t imagine that changing. 

“He killed himself.” 

Herc straightened abruptly as Scott inhaled. 

“...In front of the children.”

Herc pushed off the counter, to pace about the room. Scott didn’t have the strength, instead dropping into a seat across from Stacker at the table. 

“Yancy was just shy of eighteen and we managed to work out a way to keep them together. They’ve never known a life outside the top. And we weren’t about to let them be taken from us. Duc and Kaori took them in. Yancy and Raleigh started working with Bruce and Trevin. Always talented, those two. Fearless to a fault. We allowed them to work through their grief. They kept the name going. They’re good. The best we’ve seen since you.” He huffed softly. “They have the same spirit. But they take even more risks than you ever would have. I’m ashamed to admit we’ve had to rely on their adaptability and ingenuity in recent years. I’ve grounded them when I’ve had just cause. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to have them grounded for long. They’re our top billing. We _need_ them to keep working. We need their brilliance, quite literally. But they have a tendency to deviate. They take risks that endanger them more often than not, without the slightest nod to their own safety or livelihood. They’re infinitely more careful when Jazmine is in a routine with them. But when she isn’t...they make for an amazing show, but…”

“You can’t control them,” Scott finished for him. 

“I can. To a point,” Stacker replied. “I would love nothing more than to ground them until they learned to respect the need for obedience and retaining routines. Instead, we’ve decided to change the show.” 

Herc paused beside them. “You changed the show?” he echoed. 

“We didn’t have a choice. The circuit is shrinking. People can see amazing acts on a weekday television show. And we need to retain a competitive edge.”

“But, you changed the show for the _Beckets_ ,” Scott pointed out. 

Stacker nodded. “They work without nets, pads or any safeties in place. Have since Raleigh turned twenty-one and I ran out of arguments they would accept.” 

“What did you do?” Herc asked. 

Stacker smiled at him. “We’ve directed an entirely aerial show over a standing body of water.” 

“So if they fall…” Scott said. 

“They’re less likely to be maimed,” Herc finished gruffly. 

“And it makes for an impressive show,” Stacker added. “A show I want you back for. We’re still in design and you may be the only ones they respect enough to obey.” When the brothers snorted in tandem, Stacker shook his head. “You’ve been out of the game. And you have experience on your side.” 

Scott crossed his arms over the table. Herc’s lips thinned but he drew a chair free and sat. It was the closest they had gotten to their family’s tragedy in a very long time. Scott was sure neither of them cared for it in the slightest. 

“The boys are talented. There is very little they cannot do and even less they _won’t_.” Releasing his cup, he looked from one brother to the other. “I won’t need you to fly. I won’t stop you if you choose to, but I’m not asking it of you. Just come back as consultants. Advisors. Choreographers. I need _help_ gentlemen. There is no one else who can do what needs doing.” 

Scott looked to Herc. “Chuck’s going to want to be up there,” he noted. They hadn’t stopped. It made no sense to when so much of their lives revolved around their abilities. When so much of who they were was held firmly in the freedom of performing. And they could never have stopped teaching Chuck, even if they’d tried - which had never once been in consideration. “He won’t accept going back just to sit around.” 

Herc nodded, though he was clearly conflicted. He leaned back in his seat and mulled it over before his eyes met Scott’s. Scott smiled at him and nodded once. Herc returned a soft smile and leaned back into the table, facing Stacker. “We’ll come back on _one_ condition.”

~*~

“I don’t fucking _believe_ this!” Raleigh snapped, throwing up both arms as he circumvented the pool.

“There’s nothing we can do about it, Rals,” Yancy replied, leaning back in his stance. 

“Aww, come on, Raleigh,” Trevin interjected, crossing over to catch Yancy’s little brother in an embrace. “It isn’t as if you’ve never worked in tandem before.” 

Raleigh gave Trevin a face Yancy didn’t need to see more than the set of his shoulders to interpret. “This is different, Trev!” 

“How’s it different?” asked Bruce, pausing in his warm up to watch them. “You’ve participated in several troupe ventures over the years. I’ve never heard you complain _once_.”

“Stacker’s never had someone come out of _retirement_ to work with us before,” Raleigh argued. 

“Technically,” Trevin countered. “The Hansens never officially retired. They took an indefinite leave of absence.” 

“Same thing.”

Both twins shook their heads. 

“Not really,” Bruce added. “They had no choice when Angela fell.” 

“They thought they’d be coming back eventually,” continued Trevin. “No one could have foreseen an embolism.” 

“Some people work to forget their pain,” Bruce said, with a more than pointed note as he looked from one brother to the other. 

“Or _try_ to,” mumbled Trevin. 

Neither Yancy nor Raleigh acknowledged him. 

“And others need a temporary retreat.”

“It’s been ten years!” Raleigh objected. 

“At least,” Yancy agreed. 

“They’ve been out for too long.” 

The twins snorted. 

“If you think they’ve so much as lost their edge,” Trevin began. 

“You clearly don’t remember the Hansens very well,” Bruce finished. 

“Besides…” Yancy didn’t quite care for the way Trevin’s smile upturned. “Their act’s different now that Chuck’s taken over most of the flying.” 

Bruce laughed. “I can’t wait to see how that one’s turned out.” 

Raleigh dropped back into Trevin purposely; the man didn’t so much as sway with the added weight. They’d worked together far too long to not be accustomed to one another so well. 

“If Stacker wanted a joint effort,” Yancy pointed out. “I don’t see why he didn’t just form one in house.” 

“The Hansens are still part of the family,” Bruce replied. 

“So technically he did,” Trevin added. “And even if you want to argue against it, you can’t stand there and claim you’ve _never_ wanted to work with them.” 

Yancy cleared his throat, shifting his weight as Raleigh made a disgruntled noise from Trevin’s embrace. 

“It’s not that I don’t think they can keep up or anything,” Raleigh defended suddenly. 

“We never thought you did,” Trevin replied. 

“It has everything to do with your trust issues,” Bruce pointed out. “And your complete inability to face your past.”

“We need to practice,” Yancy said, uncomfortable. 

“Case in point,” Trevin rejoined. But he stepped back, releasing Raleigh, who jogged over to Yancy and threw both arms about his middle. Yancy tucked Raleigh under one arm and squeezed him back. 

“You know you can come to us - any time. Right?” Trevin asked gently. 

Raleigh sniffed and Yancy straightened. He gave them a somewhat tight smile and waved them off. Raleigh just as eager to beat a hasty retreat. 

He heard Bruce say to Trevin, “It’s for the best.” And Trevin’s deeply sighed, “I know.” Before he managed to tune them out enough to keep an uneasy feeling from settling in his gut. 

From the way Raleigh looked up at him, he was pretty sure it’d reached him as well. 

“Come on, Rals,” he said, giving his brother a little reaffirming shake. “We can do better than what we have so far.” 

Raleigh grinned at him. “You think Stacker would completely lose it if we set the rigging on fire again?” 

“With the Hansens coming _back_?” Yancy replied. 

“Point.” He paused for a moment. “You think he’s forced them out of retirement so he can make good on grounding us for an extended period?” 

Raleigh sounded like he just may believe it. Truth be told, Yancy was more than concerned about the possibility himself. Still...it was his job to make sure no one worried but him. “Nah,” he replied, ruffling Raleigh’s hair. “Even with the Hansens back, there’s no way he’d ground us for long. We’re far too popular for it to sit well with the fans.” 

Raleigh hummed thoughtfully. “I guess.” 

“Hey.” He caught Raleigh beneath the chin and turned his face up gently. “They’re not coming to replace us,” he assured him. “And we can always refuse.” 

“I don’t think we can, Yance.”

“Let’s just see how it goes first, huh? Maybe we’re making it into more of an issue than it is. After all, Stacker’s just trying to keep us in business. A return will be a good lure for the new show.” 

“True,” Raleigh agreed quietly. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, Rals. I promise.” 

Raleigh smiled and drew him closer for a squeeze. “I love you, Yance.” 

“Love you too, kiddo,” he replied, pausing to draw Raleigh close and touch brows. “It’s you and me together, forever. Nothing’s ever going to change that.” 

“Jaz might have something to say about that,” Raleigh teased with a grin. 

“That brat?” Yancy scoffed. “Who needs her.”

“I hate you both!” Jaz huffed from beside them. 

They laughed, dragging her close. She only struggled a little, standing with her arms crossed petulantly between them as they embraced her. 

“Hey, Yance, you think Chuck still has a crush on Jaz?” 

“Oh god, I hope so!” 

“Fuck you both. Mako will be more than happy to train with me today!” 

“Sorry Jaz,” Raleigh said. “You’re stuck with us.” He pressed his lips to her cheek at the same time Yancy did. 

Jazmine squealed as they blew raspberries against her face. “You guys are so disgusting!” she cried. “Grow up!!” But her arms wrapped around them regardless and she let herself be lead away, doing her level best not to laugh along with them.

~*~

It was odd being back. Most especially because it didn’t feel as if any time at all had past. The sets had changed. The costumes were different. The make-up designs were something altogether new. But the people were the same. There wasn’t a single new face in the bunch and they were welcomed back with open arms by everyone they came across. Scott wondered if he ought to be feeling anything like guilt or remorse, but he couldn’t seem to dredge any up. Not when everyone was so happy to see them. Aleksis crushed them both in one of his purely unique bear hugs. “Is this little Charlie?” he asked, accent only slightly improved.

“Actually, it’s Chuck,” Chuck managed to wheeze out as he was enveloped and lifted clear off his feet. His hands made slight flailing motions, but Scott supposed he didn’t quite know what to do with so many people who considered him family. It had just been the three of them since Angela passed. Four, if you counted Max. 

“He is tallest!” Aleksis stated, after he had set Chuck back on his feet and gripped him by the shoulders to take him in. He slapped him heartily on the back and to his credit, Chuck did no more than wince slightly. “Perhaps he is most fit too,” he teased with a grin. 

“Eh, the kid can’t hold his liquor,” Scott shot back, knowing how important a good constitution was to the Russian. 

Aleksis scoffed predictably and patted Chuck on the head. “That we will fix. He is home now after all!”

“Well, well, well, look what the wind blew in.”

Chuck turned to take in the new set of identical faces approaching them. 

“Trev! Bruce!” Scott jogged around his nephew to throw his arms about them. “It’s been too long.” 

“Sure has,” Trevin replied, one arm about Scott and the other about Bruce. “You two sure took your time getting back.” 

“But, we’re back,” Herc pointed out, crossing over to greet their friends as well. He hugged each twin individually before stepping back and gesturing at Chuck. “You remember m’ son, Chuck?” 

Trevin whistled lowly. “Kid looks fit enough to challenge our boys.” 

Chuck raised his chin. “I’m more than enough to leave these two behind,” he replied, sweeping an arm at them. 

Bruce laughed loudly and rubbed an index finger against the corner of his eye. 

“Oh _please_ let me introduce him to Raleigh!” Trevin commented, hands pressed together in front of him. 

“Where are your trouble makers?” Herc asked. 

“Strategizing new ways to shorten Stacker’s life,” Trevin replied cheerily. 

“Come on,” added Bruce. “You should see them for yourselves before you meet them. It’ll go better for everyone that way.” 

They followed the twins after a final back pat a piece from Aleksis. Predictably, the Becket boys were working without a net. Bruce pointed out that they tended to train late so as to not interrupt anyone else’s time with the net. “They take it down when they train, then put it up again the next morning after getting in another set, so everyone else can be safe.” 

“So they’re not ignorant of a net’s worth,” Scott commented. 

“Oh no, they get it. And when Jaz’s with them, they’ll usually keep it up,” Trevin explained. 

“She’s tried to get them to keep it up when it’s just them, but…” Bruce shrugged and gestured at the pair. 

“They’re pretty fearless,” Herc said as Raleigh dropped back, freefalling while Yancy got a full double turn with extension before the brothers clapped feet - one a piece. 

“They’re pretty reckless,” Bruce corrected. 

Trevin sighed. “People are generally in two camps when it comes to them.” He held his hands out, spread apart slightly and used them to gesture from one side to the other. “They have a death wish. They’re too damn cocky.” 

“Which one’s true?” asked Herc. 

“Neither really. They’re insanely talented. Honestly, it’s almost insulting how talented they are. If anyone was born to this, they were, without a doubt. But…”

“There’s brilliant and there’s impulsive. And they happen to be both.” Bruce rocked back on his heels as the Beckets flew over them, throwing themselves almost thoughtlessly into a beautiful - and flawlessly executed - transition. 

Chuck’s head was tilted all the way back as he watched them, not commenting on what he was taking in. Scott could almost feel him calculating everything in his head. Chuck was good, damn good, but this was a level of cohesion that eluded him. It had absolutely nothing to do with his skills and everything to do with Herc and sometimes Scott himself holding back. Too preoccupied with keeping the routine safe that they’d drilled measure and format into Chuck in the hopes that technique would more than make up for the thrill of truly flying. They had their tricks of course, but none were quite so...unchecked. 

It was beautiful. Breathtaking in a gut twisting sort of way. Yancy and Raleigh moved through their routine as if the apparatus was completely unnecessary. It was easy to get lost in the emotion of their forms. The story they were telling with every movement of their bodies. But a part of Scott couldn’t help but notice that there was absolutely no regard for personal safety. 

His eyes met Herc’s across Chuck. 

“They’re better than you,” Chuck said after a moment. “You don’t move together like that.” 

“They used to,” Bruce commented, giving Herc and Scott the dignity of not prodding at it. 

“It takes a special relationship to move that well together,” Trevin pointed out without following up with an explanation. 

“They’re just as good when Jaz is with them. But not nearly as impressive.” 

Trevin nodded. 

They watched them a while in silence. 

“I can’t wait to see how they get along with you,” Trevin said as the Beckets’ routine wound down. 

Scott couldn’t be sure if he meant Chuck, or all of them together. He didn’t know which he hoped he meant either.

~*~

Yancy was warm. Body singing with exertion and the steadiness that came with doing what he knew he was meant to. Of being at peace in the only place they could find home anymore. He laughed, dropping a towel over Raleigh’s head. Raleigh laughed right along with him, scrubbing at his hair.

“Hey, Becket boys!” Tendo called, walking over with people Yancy hadn’t seen since just before his life took an abrupt downward spiral. He felt himself breathe in sharply, the breath catching in his middle. Ten years had done absolutely _nothing_ but wonderful things to the trio pausing in front of him. 

He heard Raleigh choke next to him and didn’t need to look at him to know how wide his eyes were. “HOLY SHIT!” he exclaimed. And then burst out laughing. “Oh my god!” he wheezed. “Yancy! Yancy! You’re the shortest one here!!” He doubled over, hands on his knees. “Chuck’s taller than you! Oh my god!! Chuck!” He flagged a hand about level with his midsection - abruptly reminding everyone of how much of a late bloomer Chuck had been. “Chuck is _taller_ than you!”

Raleigh didn’t seem to notice Chuck flushing slightly. Just padded over to him and with a little jump wrapped both arms around him, dragging him down. Chuck shoved at him, but Yancy could see him smiling even as he shouted, “Oi! Get off, you jackass!” 

Yancy’s smile got stuck about halfway formed when his eyes drifted of their own accord to his friend’s uncle. Only Raleigh knew that Yancy’s entire self discovery was a result of Scott Hansen. He’d had the biggest crush on him when he was a kid. Something that only grew as he got older, as his body started to do things against his wishes. After a lifetime of complete control - hell he could even keep sickness down until he got to a toilet - having his body suddenly and rather visually betray him on a regular basis became the bane of his existence. And yet, he’d never been able to look away from the man. Especially when he was performing. 

Scott looked...even more fucking attractive than he remembered. When he’d been a teenager, Yancy had comforted himself with the fact that Scott wasn’t all that much older than he was - give or take a decade - choosing to focus on the fact that when he was in his twenties it wouldn’t matter as much exactly how many years were between them. Somewhere along the line he’d managed to forget just how much he’d _wanted_ Scott Hansen. How desperately he’d wanted Scott to want him back. 

Scott smiled at him and Yancy was a teenager again. He cleared his throat, shaking out his arms in the hopes that he wouldn’t pop in his costume. Entirely thankful for the arrangement that kept him streamlined for performance and the valiant effort it was making to maintain his dignity. Stepping forward, he shook Herc’s hand first. “Welcome back.” 

Herc grinned at him. “Good to be back,” he said, clasping Yancy’s hand and drawing him into a heartfelt hug. Yancy was glad for the previous work out that could take the blame for the jump in his pulse. He’d forgotten what being around the elder Hansen men had done to him. Herc smelled just as amazing as he used to. Yancy had asked him once what he used - his cover being that he wanted to try the same thing - Herc had smiled at him and gave him the brand name of a bar of soap. Which he’d used more to jerk off than to bathe with. It was still his prefered brand. 

“So, we were discussing it,” Raleigh said apropos of nothing. “And we were wondering if you two could even get it up anymore.” 

Yancy’s eyes took a swift detour to take in Raleigh’s shit eating grin. 

Scott and Herc laughed. Chuck snorted loudly and rolled his eyes. 

“We’ve still got it,” Scott informed them. “Our routines might not be as...godless as yours, but we’ve still got it.” 

“Godless?” the Becket brothers echoed as one. 

“Just because you _can_ doesn’t mean you _should_ ,” Scott pointed out. “You can only raise the bar so high.” 

Raleigh sniffed in affront. “We give a _great_ show!”

“No one’s saying you don’t, Raleigh,” Herc said. “We’re just a little concerned by what we saw.”

“That?!” Raleigh huffed. “That was _nothing_! We were just messing around!” 

“That wasn’t a routine?” Herc asked slowly, as if he couldn’t quite believe it. 

“Did it look like one?” Yancy replied, honestly confused. 

Herc and Scott looked to Tendo who just shrugged. 

“Great,” Chuck sighed. “Now they’re going to start with the Safety First routine.” 

“The _what_?” Raleigh replied. 

“I’m not staying for that one,” Chuck informed his family. “I’ve lived through it enough!” 

*~* 

“OH MY GOD JUST DROP ME!!” Raleigh shouted from where Herc had him suspended by both arms. Both were keeping impeccable form, but Yancy could tell when Raleigh was getting antsy. 

Herc cocked an eyebrow at him, which Yancy had to admit, looked amazing, even upside down. 

They’d been working on a routine for three weeks, but their new troupe was taking time to meld. Even with Jazmine and Mako in the mix. It wasn’t that it was a bad routine. It was just a little too by the books for himself and his brother. They were used to pushing the line and getting results. Not playing it safe and hoping for the best. 

“I swear, if I have to do this mind numbing routine one more time I’m going to miss the connect myself!” 

Herc lifted Raleigh so they were level - he was holding him by the forearms and nothing else, yet taking most of their combined weight as he curled his body so they were looking at each other right side up. He didn’t say anything, just stared into Raleigh’s eyes with a ferocity that had Raleigh backing down with a distinct squirm. Which only brought Yancy’s attention back to the fact that Herc was bent all the way _and_ holding Raleigh mostly up. Even they didn’t have the core strength the Hansens did. And it became glaringly obvious several times a day as they rehearsed together. 

“Can we _please_ just do _**one**_ ‘utterly reckless’ and ‘completely unnecessary’ trick?” Raleigh asked, pulling the puppy eyes. 

“Are you going to keep whining about the routine?” Herc replied. 

“Probably,” his brother replied honestly. 

Herc hauled Raleigh back up onto the uniquely designed rigging, setting him down beside him before righting himself. Chuck dropped back against the side, half his body hanging upside down. Chuck could only sometimes be counted on for a swing vote. He loved to learn new tricks and seemed entirely down with ‘the more ridiculously complicated the better’ mentality Yancy and Raleigh shared. But he was also completely accustomed to just obeying. He did the routines given to him and he managed to make them look flawless, but they were often lacking in anything remotely awe inspiring. Yancy had known Raleigh would crack first, and was frankly a little surprised he’d lasted so long. 

Herc looked at Raleigh, then across at Yancy who spent most of his time trying to keep his cool after being paired with Scott as his anchor. He was a goddamn professional, but there was only so much contact with the snuggly-clad Hansen he could take before certain parts of his anatomy promptly stopped listening to him. 

“Do either of you understand why we’ve been drilling like this?” he asked them. 

“Because you want to drive us crazy,” Raleigh answered honestly. “It’s like breaking in a horse.” 

Chuck laughed, then turned abruptly onto his side as it pulled something in his middle. He plopped down across from them, feet dangling. “What?” he remarked when Herc looked at him. “It’s not like he’s wrong. You didn’t drill me this much at this level when I **was** at this level.” 

Raleigh gave an annoyed huff and threw himself back, arms folded. Yancy knew his brother’s talents and he knew he was entirely safe. But as Raleigh’s body dropped free, Herc lunged for him, grabbing him around the middle. They ended up hanging by their knees, Herc’s arms about Raleigh and Raleigh’s across his own chest. They blinked at one another. And then Herc did something neither brother could have expected. He latched one foot behind Raleigh’s knees and swept up. Raleigh let out a surprised cry even as his body righted the motion and his arms tangled with Herc’s. 

The entire rigging swayed and Yancy gripped the bar beside him in a desperate clutch, heart in his throat. Scott dropped a hand between his shoulders and rubbed sympathetically. 

“Rigging _fails_ ,” Herc said calmly, an edge to his voice. “You have the right instincts. But what happens if…” And he drew Raleigh up, adjusting his grip before letting go completely. Raleigh didn’t make a sound, but his eyes widened in surprise before the sound of him landing in the net echoed back up at them. Herc gestured with his chin and dropped after him. They all landed in the net one after another, waiting for the clear before dropping and rolling free with a fluidity that had taken some time to achieve. 

“You _dropped_ me!” Raleigh seethed. 

“I dropped you,” Herc replied. 

“ _Why_?!” Raleigh snapped back, brushing Yancy off. 

Herc leveled his gaze at them, one and then the other. “You need to trust your partners completely. But you can’t just _lose_ yourself in the motions. I dropped you on purpose. What we do isn’t a game. It’s a series of calculated risks. You trusted me not to drop you.”

Raleigh nodded. 

“You trusted in me more than you trusted in yourself. You didn’t even try to correct.”

Yancy looked to his brother who was blinking slowly. 

“We’re not infallible. Sometimes when someone drops, they fall.” 

Chuck shifted, but when Yancy looked at him, he was looking away. Arms crossed over himself defensively. 

“You need to be prepared to fall,” Herc continued. “You need to be able to deviate to save _yourself_ if you can, not just to show off.” 

Raleigh scrubbed at the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry I said…” He sighed. “I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” 

Herc reached out, clasping his hands over Raleigh’s shoulders and waiting until Raleigh looked up to meet his eyes. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never drop you,” he said, eyes holding Raleigh’s in an entirely different way than before. “But I can promise you that I will never do it again on purpose and that I will always do my best to catch you. Keep trusting me to catch you, Raleigh. But be prepared for a situation where I might not.” 

Raleigh swallowed, but nodded. And then in yet another unexpected turn of events, he was wrapped about Herc in a desperate hug. Herc didn’t try to avoid it or shrug him off. He wrapped both arms about Raleigh and hugged him back tightly, resting his chin to the top of Raleigh’s head. 

 

*~*

 

“So...today got a little intense,” Scott said, sitting beside him. 

Yancy sighed, slumping forward a little more. “We’ve never fallen,” he admitted. 

“Never?” Scott asked in surprise. 

Yancy shook his head. “Our parents trained us to blindly trust. We started small and worked our way up, but we...no one ever missed a cue.” 

Scott exhaled. “I remember,” he said softly, looking out over the expanse before them. “Your parents were...amazing people. The trust you had...I can see how that would make things confusing for you now.” He draped his arms beside Yancy. “Herc didn’t mean to scare you. We were taught to fall first by our parents. When Angela came along we drilled it with her until she could fall like she’d been doing it all her life.” 

“We know how to _fall_ ,” Yancy pointed out. “No one does what we do without learning the basics.” 

Scott shook his head. “Our parents taught us to keep focused, to multi-task. If you follow routine, and you do your best, chances are everyone’s going to make it through just fine. But accidents happen. When Angela fell…” Yancy turned to look at him, but Scott was staring out into the distance. “It was a new routine. We hadn’t drilled it as much as we’d been trained to. But we thought we had it down enough to give it a go. We were just like you. Always looking for a new edge. Trying to come up with stunts no one had done before. We were on top of the world. We weren’t even performing without a net that night...Everything that could go wrong just...went wrong. Herc blames himself. He was on anchor that night. But the truth is, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. One screw too tight. A coupling too loose. Too many rotations. He just missed her. We all thought it’d be fine. She’d hit the net and the audience would get a thrill and we’d be back to usual tomorrow. I don’t think we even realized the horrified noises were because she’d landed on the ground. Not until we’d made it down.” 

Yancy remembered that night. Being backstage and getting ready, jostling with Raleigh in the mirror as they listened to the crowd react to the performance. Grinning widely at one another at every surprised gasp and delighted cheer. The Hansens had been their idols. They’d looked up to them, had wanted to be just like them. Their parents had been amused by their fascination with the family and had taken every opportunity to either use them as example or to tease them in their own way over it. Chuck had been grounded at the time. Still too weak from a sudden onset stomach flu that had been sweeping through the company. He’d come shuffling out of his family’s trailer at some point, clutching Max in his arms and dropping into a chair by the wall of vanities. So he’d been on hand and at ground level when the crowd noise took an unexpected shift right before there was a solid sound of something hitting the ground. 

_Everyone_ had raced over to see what had happened. Yancy could clearly recall the outline of Angela’s body on the ground. The way her hair was splayed, how the light hit her costume, the unnatural curve of her body as she lay on the brightly colored flooring. The sudden jostling of the crowd of people rushing to her aid. He’d grabbed Chuck. Something in his mind screaming at him that Chuck _couldn’t_ see. That if he let Chuck’s last image of his mother be something so horrific, he’d struggle with remembering anything positive about her at all. Chuck had shouted at him, squirming and twisting in his arms as Yancy dragged him away. Raleigh had followed. Had thrown himself into them to catch Chuck up between them and hold him safely close. 

Yancy could remember the width of Raleigh’s eyes as he stared up at him. The sound of Chuck’s heightening cries as he called for his mother. The knee jerk reflex that had him grabbing Jazmine’s wrist as she came scurrying around a bend. Drawing her close and keeping them all out of the way. 

They’d sat there for a long while. Tangled all together as they watched the scene unfurl. Eventually Mako and Duke wandered over and settled down with them. Yancy was the eldest, but he didn’t know what else to do but to sit there and hold them all. Hadn’t even been able to tell them that it would be all right. No one could have been certain then. And they would have been wrong besides. 

Scott’s grip on his shoulder brought him back to himself. He smiled at him weakly and reached around to grip his shoulder in return. 

“Maybe it was a little too harsh,” Scott admitted, and it took Yancy a moment to replay their conversation before he understood what he was referring to. “But, we’re honestly worried about you. Yancy, you and Raleigh are _amazing_. You work hard and you push the envelope and we respect that. But, if you aren’t careful there will be a day where you will know what it feels like to regret a moment in your life with such ferocity, it steals your breath away. And we don’t want that for you. Once was enough - for everyone.” 

Yancy nodded slowly. 

Scott’s arm slipped around him, drawing him close into a side hug. “Come on, kid. I think we could both use a drink.” 

Yancy laughed softly. “You’re condoning alcohol consumption?” he teased, trying to look scandalized. 

Scott barked out a laugh. “Your body is a temple,” he agreed solemnly. “Which means it could do with some worship every now and again.” 

Yancy swallowed thickly, managing not to choke by some miracle. Scott clapped him on the back again, then started them forward, back toward the trailers. He didn’t know how smart an idea it was to drink with the guy he’d been yearning for for years, but he wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass him by. Regret and all that.

*~*

It had become something of a routine. Rehearse, rework their routine, rehearse some more, head back to shower and relax with a nice glass of something full body warming. Sometimes he picked, sometimes Yancy did. Sometimes Raleigh or Herc or Chuck or all three would join them. But, most of the time, it was just Yancy and Scott, talking, reminiscing, sharing secrets or swapping stories. He was _just_ starting to work out how the Beckets outmaneuvered them in one of their own old routines when he realized that something had changed. He couldn’t say what or how or when. But somewhere along the line they’d simply bonded. Yancy had gone from a kid he’d needed to save to a man in his own right; a man Scott not only respected but admired in many ways.

Yancy was strong willed and occasionally stubborn, but he always put his family first, considered their needs and desires well before his own. He was giving and kind and more considerate than Scott had known anyone to be in a long time. He was talented and funny, with a sense of humor that left people gasping long after he’d departed. His performance level was of a quality that was rare in young performers and while he tended toward some more than questionably sane moves, there was no denying they were impressive and more often than not awe-inspiring. In fact, everything about Yancy Becket was inspiring. From the way he’d forced himself to grow up too quickly in order to not be a burden on Duc and Kaori and raise his siblings himself. To the gentle way he teased and coaxed the best out of everyone he engaged with. 

While the Beckets may appear cocky, Scott and his own lot had spent enough time to finally cotton on to what everyone had been referring to in regards to the pair. The Beckets weren’t cocky. They spent most of their life acutely terrified. What was interpreted as cockiness was the only real security in their lives. They were sure of their talent and through that could project sureness through one another that other aspects of their lives - most importantly, those over which they had absolutely no control - would in turn be secured. In essence, Yancy and Raleigh Becket lived a ‘Fake it til you make it’ existence. Or what they probably deemed ‘Success will thwart all disaster’. 

As time went on, it became clearer to the Hansen men that something was seriously imbalanced in the pair’s life. They were both in turns most cunningly persuasive and completely engaged when in the presence of their sister. It was almost as if they felt a need to spare her from their own problems until it had become a festering internal wound they could feel but not locate. It was glaringly, painfully obvious in the difference between when Jazmine joined them for rehearsals versus when she did not. Eventually, in order to better focus, Herc and Scott had discussed a more serious change in troupe membership. 

Yancy dangled almost absentmindedly. The change in troupe organization had involved quite a few negotiations until they’d all somehow committed to more performances per show than they’d initially anticipated. Scott looked down at Yancy from his own perch, trying to gauge his mood. The Beckets had not been happy with the changes, but where Jazmine had been angry and hurt at being shifted to a different act, Yancy and Raleigh had been so relieved, it had practically shone from them. They’d been careful to hide it from her and argue her case for argument’s sake and in support of their sister and her wishes, but they hadn’t put their entire wills into the effort and Jazmine had noticed. 

Scott slid down until he was level with his partner. “I have an idea.” 

It took a moment for Yancy to look at him, blue eyes gliding under long golden lashes. Scott _needed_ that moment because all of a sudden it was difficult to look at him. He shifted and righted himself so he was in a more comfortable and controlled position. Yancy raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing and acknowledging the act, but thankfully not mentioning it. 

“We have some time to kill. Help me refine something I’ve been working on?”

Yancy’s sigh was soft, barely heard. Scott was primarily aware of it by the way it moved across his body. Expanding his chest, causing a dip in his abdomen that rocked the rigging slightly. He swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. 

Yancy looked to Herc and Raleigh, who were both listening to something Chuck was saying. Herc’s posture was noticeably appeasing without being condescending. Listening to his son but not necessarily prepared to accommodate him, not without damn good reason. Raleigh was nodding every so often, hands flagging back and forth whenever he seemed to emphatically agree. 

“They’ll be at it for a bit.” He nudged Yancy’s shoulder with his own, surprised by how much he wanted to cheer the younger man up. “Come on, I’m asking for an assist.” Rocking back, he held up a hand. “I, Scott Hansen, am thoroughly acknowledging your clearly superior choreography skills.” Yancy cracked a smile. “Now please help me get one over on Herc for _once_ in my life!” 

“I don’t know,” Yancy replied, mood lifting slightly. “Empowering a younger brother might be bad for business. Raleigh could get _ideas_.” 

Scott snorted. “Oh please, he doesn’t need _my_ help for that. He has you completely wrapped around his finger and you adore every minute of it.” 

Yancy’s smile widened genuinely, the way it always did when the warmth of Raleigh’s love reminded him he wasn’t as alone as he felt. “Alright. I’ll hear you out. Just hear you out!” 

“Well, it’s a start,” Scott commented, jerking his chin. “Come on, let me show you what I’ve got so far.” 

 

*~*

In retrospect, involving someone he was admittedly attracted to in the most intimate routine design of his life might have been a slight miscalculation on his part. Yancy had been so taken with the routine, so _inspired_ he’d insisted on the chance to perform it himself before beginning to make tweaks that were frankly so intense that even the slight differences radiated from Scott’s very core - whether he was performing it or watching Yancy do so. 

It only took a handful of sessions together for Scott to acknowledge that desire was a very minor factor in his feelings for Yancy Becket. Yancy understood him in a way he’d never imagined someone could, perhaps understood him even better than he thought. The first time Yancy performed the finished product for him, he’d ended up hurrying over to comfort a suddenly sobbing Scott. Scott collapsed into his arms, clinging to him, and being held in such a strong, secure embrace that it almost made it _worse_. 

Yancy didn’t ask. Didn’t soothe with nonsensical platitudes. Just held him tightly until Scott’s sagging brought them both to the floor. When he’d calmed, he’d looked up into eyes that mirrored a life similarly scarred and felt his breath catch. Reaching up, he’d stroked his thumb over Yancy’s bottom lip, mesmerized by the way it made Yancy tremble. His brow dropped into Scott’s, their arms still about one another and their legs beneath them. 

“I think we should make this a duet,” he breathed. 

Yancy nodded and Scott could feel his lashes brush against his cheeks as he closed his eyes.

~*~

What was most disarming about creating the routine with Scott was how _easy_ it came to fruition. Flowing naturally between them in a way Yancy had never felt with another person. There was a fluidity to it that he’d only ever experienced with Raleigh, and yet, it didn’t feel like a betrayal.

Raleigh didn’t seem to find it one either. 

When they finally shared the completed piece with the members of their family, Yancy had looked up to find tears streaming down Raleigh’s face. His chest hitched with a pain Yancy felt even with the distance between them. Herc was looking at them with a sort of surprised realization. Chuck...Yancy couldn’t read Chuck. But he appreciated the way their youngest member turned and enveloped a shaking Raleigh. He murmured something into his hair that Yancy could neither hear nor make out, but only made Raleigh sob harder. 

By the time they reached them, Herc was standing. He dragged a surprised Scott into a breathtaking hug, before dropping a kiss to his temple that had Scott’s eyes closing distinctly wet. 

Yancy sat beside Raleigh, but had to lean into him before Raleigh registered his presence, and then he was being dragged into an embrace that landed him in Chuck Hansen’s arms. He stroked his brother’s back and leaned into the solid support of Chuck’s chest, the man’s heart beating steadily in his chest - unlike Yancy and Raleigh’s own. 

“Are y’ sure you want to share that?” Herc asked softly. 

“I think we both **need** to,” Scott answered, from where his head was resting against his brother’s collar. 

Herc just nodded. 

Raleigh sniffed and wiped at his face, then looked from Chuck to Herc before nodding and getting up, brushing his hands over his thighs in an attempt to brush away the feelings so they wouldn’t overpower him. 

“Right. Okay. We...we have something we want to show you too.” 

 

*~*

 

Scott leaned into Yancy, their shoulders touching as they watched the others set up. Yancy smiled softly and leaned back supportively. 

“I hope you don’t mind, that I-”

Yancy shook his head. “No, I agree with you. I think...I think it’s cathartic. Something maybe we’ve _all_ needed for a long time.”

Scott’s hand rested gently over Yancy’s where he’d been rubbing his shins - okay, so maybe Raleigh wasn’t the _only_ one. Yancy felt the shock of it course through his entire body and turned to look at him. “And… _this_...?” he asked, thumb stroking over Yancy’s wrist softly. 

Yancy swallowed and met his eyes. 

Oh...he’d dreamed, he’d fantasized, but nothing compared to the way Scott’s eyes gazed at him with a distinct desire to devour him. Something must have flashed through his own, because suddenly Scott was shifting, gathering his legs under himself and leaning closer. 

The music started and they both broke away to pay attention. 

Yancy leaned into Scott, who wrapped an arm about him and drew him close, dropping his cheek to his hair. They watched the trio perform, relaxing into it. The heat cooled, but didn’t abate. 

“And how long’s _this_ been going on?” he asked after a moment. 

Yancy snorted. 

“Your brother is a complicated man,” Scott replied, shaking his head slightly. 

“Yup.” 

“Then again, I don’t have much of an argument.”

Yancy laughed; feeling the moment wash over and through him. Locking itself firmly in his memory for the rest of his natural life. 

“I bet we could run these together…”

“ ** _Now_** you’re getting it.”


End file.
